I know most of you just sit around thinking, "what shall I invent today?". Surprisingly I do that too.
I thought I was really onto something until someone told me Al Gore had already invented both of those. You can't get discouraged just because someone has stolen your idea....you have to move on and be strong.
As you all know one good idea will lead to other ideas until,......woweeee you hit the mother lode. It can only be called an epiphany, that's what happened to me. I was at a restaurant dining lavishly, which basically translates to food and assorted sauces on myself and people as far away as three tables. I'm a very energetic eater. I'm also super observant, I miss nothing no matter how small the crumb, I spot it. Anyway, as I was dining and being super observant, I noticed something that I had seen a hundred times before but never actually saw it.
Two women were going to the restroom, then I noticed two more going, then it dawned on me women always want their friend to go to the bathroom with them. This is a big difference between men and women. Men are much more practical the only time you will ever see two men going to the restroom on the buddy system is when one them is missing two arms.
Call it what you want, I headed for the bathroom, the men and ladies rooms were back to back. Okay, I going to confess something here but you have to promise not to tell anyone else...okay. Okay here it is now remember I don't make a habit of this, maybe I've done this eight or ten times in my life, I cupped my ear to the wall straining for all I'm worth to hear what these strange women are saying.
I really believe my hearing is 30 to 70% better than most because I practice so hard. Then I heard what no man has ever known before, the women were telling each other how great the toilet seat covers were for removing oil from their cheeks and foreheads. This was past a woweee, I had my invention. Just as I saw women going to the restroom but didn't see, these women didn't really understand what the real value those toilet seat covers held.
I promptly stole two, one for later, like in the Boy Scouts, "Be Prepared". I raced back to my table with my new invention, I'm calling it the the "Head Napkin", sort of a play on words.
You just slip the toilet seat protector over your head and presto you have a bib/napkin. It worked perfect the very first time, you should of seen all the people staring at me with envy. I was truly shocked at how shy people are I thought for sure there would be a mad dash for the restroom.
But I guess they wanted to wait until I left so they wouldn't be caught stealing my idea. Yes, I already sent this off to "Hints By Heloise" she wrote back and told me in her own words "This is a first". And yes she did believe that I didn't steal this idea. I might as well explain the rest of the inventing process. This actually led to me inventing "Global Cooling" and Inter-galactic self-enveloped inter-stellar magnetic-field traveling or IGSEISMF just to make it easy.
All this came as a result of my idea aquarium am [house breaking] breaking, gold fish. According to my calculations you can teach a gold fish to go outside the aquarium am to do his business in two and a half years unfortunately the average life span of a gold fish in a tank without a piranha present is two years, somewhat shorter if there is one. Thus I had to use DNA transfer techniques to their offspring, which led to the cure of polio, and then I heard they already had that, so I went back to my other inventions. See how easy it is getting off the path. Some people don't get the connection but how would you like to travel? With polio or IGSEISMF.
I can see with G-nome anhelix eses and cold fish this could get quite lengthy. So for now, just know that I will be available to win the Nobel Peace Prize sometime next year no not for the time tunnel or the polio or the DNA transfer techniques but for the "HEAD NAPKIN".
...Love Always
