For centuries, there have been reports and sightings, and encounters with UFO's. One was even captured in the 1940's, and hushed up. Yes, Dears, Roswell-the worst kept secret of the US Government. Hangar 51 the breeding ground of UFO's, now released into the world's population, and quickly gaining complete control of us all. THEY ARE AMONG US!The UFOs are Coming! The UFOs are Coming! No Dear, They are Here!
For centuries, there have been reports and sightings, and encounters with UFO's. One was even captured in the 1940's, and hushed up. Yes, Dears, Roswell-the worst kept secret of the US Government. Hangar 51 the breeding ground of UFO's, now released into the world's population, and quickly gaining complete control of us all. THEY ARE AMONG US!They are everywhere! You get on an elevator-several people already on board, they say: "Hello" Hello"-"Hello". You smile and answer "Hello!" But, instead of further conversation, you get these glazed stares, like you just jumped out of a horror movie, you are taken aback, til you realize, they are not talking to YOU-They are talking to their resident UFO! GOING UP? OR DOWN!
You patiently wait for the woman in front of you at the grocery cash register to pay for her groceries, so you can check out, but she is ignoring the cashier, standing transfixed, getting instructions from her UFO.Maybe it is telling her she forgot something? I don't know, but I hope she gets it right soon; I want to check out and go home. PLEASE? (at least the cashier is not listening to his UFO!)
It takes at least 15 minutes longer to get to a teller's window at the bank now, because the customers at the windows are speaking to their UFO's. Awaiting financial instructions, I guess? BANK OF LOST IN SPACE
Kids going to and from school, or wherever, now all have this UFO deformity! They walk with one arm bent at the elbow, hand pressed hard against their ear, mumbling incantations to their resident UFO's. Or their hands are clasped in front of them, affectionately holding their UFO's and giving them fast love taps with their fingers and especially their thumbs, UFO's seem to love being patted with human thumbs. WHO KNEW!
CEOs and business people pace back and forth, highly agitated, receiving urgent instructions from their UFO's before meetings. People on airplanes become highly nervous without access to their own UFO's (evidently, earthbound UFO's cannot communicate if airborne, strange!) so the airlines have allowed specially bred UFO's to travel on board to ease the passengers fears of loosing contact with their own UFOs. WHERE ARE THE PARACHUTES, PLEASE?
You go out with friends or family, or both, for drinks or dinner or just a night out, but you cannot really have a conversation because their resident UFO's keep interrupting them with new information and downloads. GO FIGURE?
These insidious UFO's also have the ability to force their hosts to send visual images back to home planet, even intimate, embarrassing pictures of what used to be called, intimate or private moments! The hosts are also forced to send coded, silent text transmissions! WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THOSE SECRET MESSAGES?
These UFO's seem to come from different tribes, or clans, or cults or even different planets. They are very compact in size (about the size of a pack of cigarettes, only skinnier. They are all colors and do not seem to have any arms or legs and their heads seem to expand and light up on occasion. They have strange one word names, Sprint, Alltel, Verizon, ATT, some I have yet to identify. These insidious creatures extort excessive amounts of money from their hosts, with the threat of not speaking to them, or giving them instructions anymore, if the host does not make a sizeable monthly offering. The threat of silence evokes terror in the hearts of the hosts. It is a horror movie come to life! WHEN WILL "THE END" APPEAR AND SAVE US?
These creatures have also implanted relay stations called ‘CELL TOWERS' to relay this data to their home planets. As a courtesy for allowing them to reside among us, they have granted World Governments and private Agencies to surveil all the information these UFO's glean. GOD SAVE US FROM GOVERNMENTS!
These alien UFO's reside in strange places! They originally lived in pockets of clothing or purses, brief cases, some had the privilege of residing in women's cleavages. They seem to like dark warm secret places during the day. Some have even taken to wearing leather or fur vests .They like to hang out on dresser tops, nightstands, desk drawers, and they tend to snore, or jump when they sleep, if they sleep. Actually, they seem to go into a kind of coma and they have to be reattached to their umbilical cords and revived with an electrical UFO formula. This seems to be their only source of nourishment. At this time they are at the mercy of their hosts. But have no fear, the host lovingly attaches the umbilical cord, and speaks soothing words to their controlling UFO, when it has been revived. When renourished, these UFO's s talk loudly, speaking all different tongues, some musical, some guttural, some shrill, some clanging and some unidentifiable, or if irritable, they just make a vibrating , buzzing sound. WHERE IS MORK AND MINDY WHEN YOU NEED THEM?
Now these evilly clever UFO's have given birth to an accessory organ they have lovingly named "BLUETOOTH TRIBE"! Although smaller and shaped differently than their parents this child is more dangerous than its parents! It has boldly taken up residency in the host's EAR! And they are everywhere, for the entire world to see and worship! WHO COULD EVER IMAGINE! ( some hosts are lucky enough to have one in each ear.)
This ear child miraculously transmits all data to its parent UFO in an unknown fashion! WHAT A KID! WE ALL SHOULD HAVE KIDS WHO TELL US EVERYTHING! Humanly impossible, only alien kids would do this!
A scientific study has revealed that in the next 10 years, or less, babies will be born with larger ear cavities and lobes and with long, pointed fingers and short very pointed thumbs, to hear and translate information more quickly and send faster silent coded messages. The following generation will be born with their UFO organ already impregnated in their ear, some right eared, some left eared ( by that time, you may be able to genetically choose what color "BLUETOOTH" you want your baby to be born with!), and they will speak an alpha numeric abbreviated universal gibberish language! AIN'T EVOLUTION GRAND!
Yes, Dears, we have had the Lost Generation, The Depression Generation, The Great Generation, The Flower Children Generation, The Hippie Generation, The X Generation, The I Don't Know Whom I am Generation, The Let It All Hang out Generation. But the Grandest Generation will take over civilization as we know it, and become THE BLUETOOTH CIVILIZATION, ruled by the UFO progeny: THE CELL PHONE! UNCONQUERABLE FIXED OBSESSION!
PS: Thanks Israel! They invented the cell phone ya know!
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